Trust

75816_149362838553571_52121437_nA simple word

Meaning many things

I used to think

It equaled everything.

But each time,

And each day,

Another block of trust

Gets thrown away.

It cuts through

Chips away

Square by square

A block shaved.

Sometimes rising like a tidal wave

Covering all insecurities

With a warm breath

Then suddenly, pulls back

Each inch a drowning death.

Trust is an emotion

A verb.

A noun.

A notion.

The essence of the word meaning everything,

But also nothing.

As as you get older

The scrapes you share

Fester up and grow colder

To those you think care

Yet give the cold shoulder.

Some you can confide

But you mostly clam up

For the fear of rejection

or judgement

Is more than enough.

To know who to trust

is a steep hill to climb

Being used to rejection

Is a feat worthy to try

But with tired breath

you supply

surrenders to your deceitful mind.

It will engulf you, and you hide.

With empty promises

That when awaken

Leave you nonetheless

Empty,

As if those wasted years were not for you

But to offer plenty

To other needs

excluding yourself

And other feeds.

So why trust?

Why sacrifice?

Why Strive?

Because to trust others,

You must trust yourself to let go

of pain of past tides.

Ride the waves to future glory

And give up on pleasing the stoned hedges

That you bowed to every morning.

To fight.

To ride.

And fly away, from the pain that trust caused

Deep inside.

To trust,

You must learn to rise

To listen within

And give life a try.

Hell, drive away

Dust in your eyes

Filling tears with purpose

Of colliding Earth and Pride.

So trust yourself.

Because you are the only one

Standing in your way

from self-satisfaction.

Happiness.

Love.

Acceptance.

Art.

Music.

Breath.

Earth.

Deep.

Sacrifice to Trust.

To love thy deep.

© Allison Duggan, 2015

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