It has been two months, and I have composed for a short, got a new job, found peace with my old habits, and am moving ever faster. I even found infatuation, and an infatuation that has brought song back to my heart, laughter to my voice, and light to when I start to see dark.
Life is an adventure, and by becoming a fast-moving, yet secure, sincere, confident, and artistic (and showing it to those I would be nervous to show), has been the driving force of my progress.
What has sparked this?
Years of insecurity and being my worst enemy dented the progress in my career. For many years, I have let my negatives show, and my positives lay low. It took me until the age of 25 to say “enough!”, and I am so glad I did. Yes, I possibly missed opportunities. I possibly could have been somewhere else, but why think of the past like that when you can keep going to get to where you want in life?
I believe what got the gears going was my last job interview. I was nervous, since I wanted the job badly, and working at retail while supporting my marketing and composing career was getting to me. I sit down with the interviewee, who tells me off the bat that he has no idea how to interview someone, and I was the first person he ever interviewed. I grew silent. When he asks me questions, I clammed up, but took a sip of water to calm down. He saw this as an opportunity to ask me questions about my LinkedIn account that he clearly didn’t look over for very long, and grills me about a job I wasn’t interviewing for. I was rubbed off the wrong way, and felt his demeanor was off-putting. However, he brings me on to work events, but as I was continuing to interview for him, he sends me an email about his resignation from the company, and goes on to tell me that I am a “Go-get her”, but cannot interview for the life of me. I snap. This isn’t me, and I will not allow someone who clearly had no hold on his business skills to tell me such grammatically incorrect and blunt information.
As much as that experience stunk, it did not stop me from getting that job. I called up HR, explained the situation and my continued interest, and here I am, working for them, and loving everyday. That man did teach me one thing: if you are ever nervous, do not show it. And if you are emailing someone, check your work…cause you will look like an idiot!
It is scary though! It feels like I am going full speed in a new car, and I have the sun in my eyes, but I know which way to go. However, caution is high, for I do not want to ruin the new and great.
So tonight, I finally have time to relax, update my profiles, (Yes, multiple!), catch up on emails, and watch Driving Miss Daisy on PBS. To have time to watch art while I am in the process of creating, or taking a break, is all I wanted in life.
So I am going to enjoy it. Why ruin it with worry? It has only hindered me for so long. No more stepping back, time to step forward, and keep driving!